Transcript:
Hi there, my name is Jeff Arthur with the Values Conversation, here today to talk about imbalances in our relationships. What does that mean? Well, we all have the same, equal needs. All of us need to be independent, do our own thing, be our own boss, go where we want, do what we want. And we also have the need to be wanted, loved, somebody to choose us. Whenever these needs get out of balance, the relationships starts to suffer. Because I will do things when … I do what I need to do in the relationship to pull you in, where I’m getting that need filled where we’re close. And then whenever something triggers in me, I start pushing you away because I want to be alone. What happens is that I can be pushing you, and pulling you, and pushing you, and pulling you, and then all of a sudden I’m actually doing them both at the same time, where the other persons are going “I don’t know what you want. I don’t even know how to make you happy anymore. I have no idea what’s going on.”
Well, there’s enough imbalances going on on the relationship level internally that I’m taking them out on you. Recognize and realize the need to be independent, the need to have somebody in my life, and how these two needs can start to clash when I get out of balance. The way to stop that is not to look to your partner, but to look at yourself. What’s going on that you need to work on, is causing the conflict in you?
My name is Jeff Arthur with the Values Conversation. You can find out more about us online at tvcleadership.com.